Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
