They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
