is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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