I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
