I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
is wine microwaveable?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
