is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
