I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
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