Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
