the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
