singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
foreskin is a definite game changer
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
