he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
