Pants 0. Shit 1.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
