..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
