Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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