I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
