When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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