Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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