I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize