Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
