i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
