So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
