Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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