remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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