About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
