he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize