I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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