'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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