i think i scared a bird with my dick
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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