Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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