oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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