Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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