i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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