We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
