he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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