Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
