he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
