Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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