So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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