The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
