There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
