You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
