if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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