Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
