We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Sorry about my life...
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
