alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
