if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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