i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
