So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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