I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
