so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
