i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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