The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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