She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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