spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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