so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize