Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize