When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
