Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
