I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
