Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
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I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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