Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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