What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
