Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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