is your mom at the bar?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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